Being a mom without friends

     I wish I would have known that being a young mom was so hard. It is hard on me for many reasons, but the main one being that I lost all of my friends that I had in school. I no longer have anyone to call and talk to, no one to come over because they want to hang out, nothing. It is lonely being a young mom that has zero friends, including mom friends. Everyone moves on with their lives, and we never speak again.

     It wasn't until in the past week or so that I realized how many friends I don't have. My boyfriend and I go into a fight, and I went to my parents house for the weekend. I didn't have a best friend to call and talk it over with, or anyone but family to call. I figured out that his family talks crap about me to him, and he doesn't stop it. It is then that I need a best friend, but I don't have one of those anymore.

     Growing up I always heard that you will never have the same friends you had in school, and that is ever bit of the truth. It hurts to know that, but it is every bit of the truth. I had enough friends to get me by in school, and it is nothing that I can complain of now because it was a lot more then. I think it hurts me the most because they always said they would always be there if something happened, but none of them has shown up yet. 

     I remember in school we always made a list of who would be our maid of honor, our bridesmaids, our kids godparents, their aunts, and their uncles. We use to spend class periods making these lists, and putting a lot of heart into them. Now I cannot remember what who was on the lists, but I do know that none of them are in our lives now. Ethan has met a few of my friends that I have had over the years, but not all of them. He has met the ones that we have seen out in public, but have not made plans with. It is scary not having friends, but you eventually cope.

     To this day, Ethan is my little best friend. His dad was until our last fight because it broke me. Ethan has shown me what true love looks like, and he has always been a blessing to me. I am writing this right now to say, don't expect to always have friends. They will always leave you when you least expect them to, and it will more than likely be when you figure out that you're pregnant. When you have your child, or eventually children, just know that they will forever be your best friends.

     My mom and I didn't see eye to eye throughout my whole life, but when I found out I was pregnant with Ethan I wanted to call her. You see some of you are thinking that it was easy to do that, but it wasn't. At the point I figured out I was pregnant, it had been 2 years that I had spoke to my mom. When I moved out at 18, we stopped speaking because we were mad at each other. Now that we are talking again, I call her all the time about everything because I have missed her. So yes, your children will always be your best friends. My momma is my best friend, and I am very thankful for her.